Tonight is the night my dog lives for. There will be a never ending line of prey coming up the walk to our door. She will bark like a freaking lunatic as they make their approach. Once on the steps, they will be shown the fury of that which is Doodle. She will throw herself at the window and gnash her teeth. She will snarl and growl and foam at the mouth. Doodle thinks she is a Pitbull. Doodle is actually a 13 pound terrier mix who looks like a stuffed animal when she isn’t trying to rip anyone to shreds. I have tried to knock her out with benadryl, distract her with bones, sell her to strangers. Nothing works. My next plan is to hand out bags of her poop to the trick-or-treaters so at least they won’t come back next year. She produces some that look like Milkduds…

Last year I electrified disconnected the doorbell, turned off all the lights and watched a movie in the bedroom where she would not hear or see the little bastards trick-or-treaters. This year our friends want to come over and drink champagne and hand out doog poop candy. What to do? I guess if I drink enough champagne, I won’t notice the dog freaking out.

My dog smells funny. The groomer has no openings this weekend. I’m going to have to do this myself. My old 92 lb Rottie/Lab mix used to just stand in the tub and sulk as I bathed her. My little 14 lb Terrier/Alligator/tornado mix is another story. She behaves perfectly well for the groomer (or the groomer just tells me that to get my $60), but for me she is a maniac. There will be much thrashing about and gnashing of teeth (some of which will be me). Of course the GF will have other things to do at that point and I will be left to face the canine psycho alone. I am not going to try and clip her, I have enough people who hate me this week, and I don’t need to add the dog to the list.

 

This Sunday I start my new very part-time weekend job. The student loan people will be very happy. They may even send me a thank you card. I will be working for one of the local towns, helping out with weekend events. This weekend it is a 10K run and I will be registering runners before the race. My neighbor, who hooked me up with the gig, and has no idea I am gay (remember my GF is in the closet), thought she was doing me a favor by assigning me the men’s 40-50 age group to sign up. Now, my GF is happy about this, she sure as hell didn’t want me signing up the 40-something women (although most runners are too skinny for my taste)! This is gonna suck. My next gig with them is the little kid’s Hobgoblin Halloween parade in two weeks. Have I mentioned I am not crazy about large numbers of children? The thing I don’t like is the noise level. Why must they all scream everything that comes out of their mouths? I have become very sensitive to noise since I started with the neuro issues, so I think I am going to actually put some cotton in my ears for that one. I am looking forward to seeing the littler kids in their costumes, they usually look so cute.

 

In an effort to eliminate the need for this new weekend job, I started two new sculptures last night. The resin has to set before I can really get going on them so I did one smaller than the other so it will set faster and I can get going on it. This weekend I hope to take a few photos of the ones I have around the house and maybe start a few more. I was sad to see that the hardware store where I usually buy my copper has finally realized that they were charging way too little for the 75 ft spools of copper (only $1 more than the 25 ft spools) and have now jacked up the price. I am going to officially start this as a small business so I can buy wholesale from now on.

 

Ok, so the ode to the avocado I threatened you with never materialized. I got as far as ‘avocado, soft and squishy. They say you go right to my tushy. Full of fat you taste so yummy. I love to have you in my tummy.’

Well I am sure you can see why I gave up on that idea! 

I saw this great magnet on a car the other day so I ordered a few.

 

 
I almost crashed my car I was laughing so much.

I need some assistance. Everyday people see my dog and ask me what she is (no she is not an Ewok).
We have no idea. Anybody got an idea?  She has a terrier's disposition (effing nuts!).