Last night we had to follow through on a promise that my cute, but naive partner made to the little 6 year-old boy next door many moons ago (I told her those little fukkers never forget a promise). She promised the little bugger she would take him to hit golf balls at the driving range some day. Well, someday turned out to be yesterday, and ‘her’ taking him turned out to be ‘us’ taking him. This kid is cute. This kid is polite, well-behaved, sweet and smart. But… this kid is SIX!!!! This means that he goes through a bucket of 100 golf balls in under 4 minutes! It used to be that you could slow the kids down by making them put their own ball on a tee each time. Now there is this cool machine that just keeps teeing them up for you! The kid looked like a windmill with that club. I don’t even think he took a breath.
My partner wanted to show him how to hold the club, how to swing, etc. I just laughed at her. She has never spent time with a six year old boy away from his folks, and with a great new weapon to swing and smash balls with. She got as far as “stand here…” and that was it. The kid was a freakin lunatic.
The nice baby-dyke at the driving range let us take him on the put-put course for free, to calm him down before we had to take him home.
We finally get him calmed down and she wants to buy him candy or ice cream (it’s now almost 8pm on a school night!). I had to stop her. I have never had kids, but I have taken care of plenty of them, ya don’t jack them up on sugar at 8 on a school night and then send them home to Mom and Dad (unless you are related, then it’s funny).


On a totally different topic..

You might remember how worried we were about telling CN (Crazy Neighbor) about us being gay. Well, things have been so much easier since we told her, it’s great. There is one little bit that bothers my partner. CN can’t figure out why we haven’t gotten married, and keeps telling my partner to make an honest woman of me. This cracks me up. I would like for us to be married, but she’s not ‘out’ to her family or job and is too afraid to do that yet. The other night I made dinner for the 3 of us (she eats with us at least a few times a week) CN and my partner were raving about the food when CN asked me to marry her, since I’m single and all… my partner started to protest when CN started prancing around my living room singing some song about ‘if ya liked it , should-a put a ring on it’ or some shit like that. It was hilarious.

I have found religion.. http://www.venganza.org/
You have to read the letter sent to the school board that started this religion, it's at the top of the web page.
I am now a true believer!

text I just got from my favorite boss

Him : piss anyone off yet today?

Me : not that I know of, you hear something?

Him : no, just making conversation

Me : I am keeping my door shut since i can't seem to do the same with my mouth.

he then showed up at my door, came in, and locked it. He's not afraid of me insulting him!

I love that guy.

I am obsessed with the game Fi.sh Ty.coon on my iPho.ne
I can't help but check every hour (or minute) to see if new fish have been born. My GF is about to kill me.
I'd better go... I need to check my fish.

I'm going to piss somebody off with this but....

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-lopez14-2008dec14,0,5995847.column?page=1

It's about time some homophobes found out what it is like to lose your job because of your personal life. I'm glad it happened to her.
And no, I don't care what happens to the place she worked. This is war, not a play-date people.

General notice for the idiots parked in the lower lot at the train this morning. When you pull into the parking lot at the train, notice that the river runs RIGHT NEXT to the lower lot. When it rains, the river floods the lower lot and it all becomes part of the river, current and all. Just because the rain seems to be letting up, doesn’t mean it is safe to park in the lower lot right on the edge of the huge volume of moving water. The water will continue to rise for another 24 hours at least because the storm north of us is still going full tilt.
If you are silly enough to park there thinking “my insurance will get me a new car if this one floods” um, think again. That lot is a posted flood zone. Your insurance company will check that. The big signs warning you that the lot floods during and AFTER heavy rains should have tipped you off! It was too dark this morning for me to get y’all photos of the stupid people parking their gazillion dollar cars in that lot, but I hope to have some photos of very wet cars to show you tomorrow. If it gets deep enough, like it did last year, the current sweeps all the cars to the end of the lot and bashes them all up.
Some people so dumb.

If you have never read whymomdrinksrum dot net you need to. She is funny as hell!

My baby brother and his wife are vegans. This year for turkey day we agreed to have a 'no animal product' meal. We are having this meal in NH. I have a new 12 ga shotgun I want to play with, so I am taking it with me to site it in etc on my folks property. I'm thinking about telling baby brother that I am going hunting. Since I tease him about it only being real food if you can shoot it, I am going to hide a big can of chickpeas in the yard and go out and blast it. He'll think I killed a critter. It will make the chickpeas 'real food' though.
Now, don't go sending me hate mail. I do not hunt, but I eat meat and have spent enough time with Cree and Inuit people in the Arctic to know that hunting = food for many people. I figure as long as you are going to eat it, hunt all you want, it's a much more pleasant death for the animal than those raised in shit conditions and killed in slaughter houses. If I had to kill my own food I would have to be a veggie, I am a wus about hurting (or even frightening critters).
My co-researchers and I pulled the ol' shooting a chickpea trick up in our camp one year when one of the guys said he wasn't going to eat the veggie meal someone cooked because nothing had been shot. We went outside and tossed a #10 can of chickpeas off the roof of the quonset hut and blasted it with bird-shot. He was picking lead shot off his plate for 20 minutes.

there is a country song that has a line "there ain't nuthin like the sound of a cooler slushing, on the bed of your truck.."

of course I hear "there ain't nuthin like the sound of a COOTER slushing, on the bed of your truck.."
I like my version better.

I am doing a very scary thing for me. I am letting a friend read a fiction piece I wrote. No big deal you say? Well it is for me. Even though I am a hard-core science geek at heart, and was a double science major in college, most semesters I managed to sneak in at least one fiction writing course. By sophmore year I was in the graduate level fiction courses with some damn good writers and the classes were by invitation only. The easy part about that was that I DIDN'T CARE what they thought. They didn't know me, all they knew was my writing. This friend KNOWS me! Well! Ok, the other scary bit is that this is the first piece I have ever shared with anyone(currently living) that has a love/sex scene in it.
and no, I'm not posting it.
Just in case I ever write another love/sex scene, how about a little help?
What are the best, non-crude, non-humorous ways you have ever heard of referring to the female bits and pieces? NON-CRUDE remember!

Swiped from frogblog

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now (even if we don't speak often or never met), please post a comment with a completely made up, fictional memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - but it has to be fake.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your blog and see what your friends come up with

My GF is from the Bronx, which if you don't know, is part of NYC. We all know that New Yorkers think that the NYC way of doing things is the ONLY way right?
Well, I frequently hear "people don't do that (insert anything I am doing or wearing)here", from my GF. She frequently looks at me like I have 3 heads.
She sometimes even gets bold enough to say "well maybe in the mid-west..."
I grew up around Milwaukee and then spent 9 years around Boston before I made the mistake of going to grad school in NY. My GF has always lived in this area. So anyway, here is the somewhat boring story of my one moment of triumph.
My livingroom window is at street level. I have blinds. I want light, or to watch the rain, I have to open the blinds. This means I am fully visable in my living room. I tell GF I want to put curtains on the lower portion of the windows and a valance up top. This way people can't see anything but the upper few feet of the room when I have the blinds up, and I can have light or watch the rain, or whatever. She tells me "they don't make those, it would look stupid" Well, the do it for kitchen windows, why can't it be done with living room material? She tells me she's never seen it, which in NY means it doesn't exsist. So last night we go to the window treatment store with another Bronx chick who thinks I am nuts. We look around. We don't see anything like what I am looking for. My GF says "we can have them custom made, you should have what you want." She may think I am nuts, but she loves me. So we tell the sales gal what I want and she says "we have a ton of those!" She gets on her computer and shows me many many many options. They even had the exact style and color I was hoping for. I'm picking it up Wed.
GF did finally agree that while I may be from another planet, at least there are others of my kind here.